Ich Will Nicht

Of Knippewhils and Men

2010-02-12T00:07:00.003-07:00

Bugger! This little creature just spoke! What in the bloody hell has happened to me! I think the war has done it, it has gone and killed me. That's it, no accounting for it. Dead. And this is my punishment. I wonder if it is still looking at me? I suppose I should open my eyes. Easy now, this place is so bright compared with the earthy darkness before.

There it is, staring up at me. Small fuzzy, almost but not quite a rabbit. I think it is trying to look irate, but that is something that is seemingly incapable of.

"Er, excuse me young rabbit, but I am sure that I am mistaken, but did you just talk?"

"Why yes I did, and I must say that this is entirely uncalled for. First barging in on our flaloping area, then rudely insulting me by calling me a rabbit. This is inexcusable, and oh! Look! a butterfly!"

Now I know I must be delusional. I simply cannot explain this. I would turn right around and go back, but therein lies the problem, a war sits back there, and here a talking rabbit whom I must say has the odd way of being able to speak, and be insulted. If only I had never left Kamloops. "Excuse me, uhm, well, if you aren't a rabbit, then what are you?"

"Oh it speaks! Hi I'm Bob, I'm a knippewhil, what are you?"

This is truly an astonishing moment. It seems to have forgotten that I was here, and refers to itself as Bob. I knew a Bob once. Dreadful man. But here I stand, at a door into the earth, talking with a creature not entirely unlike a rabbit, calling itself a knippewhil, and named Bob. I have truly gone off it.

Now what, that music, very ominous, who has a phonograph here? Sounds like Edgard Verese. That's odd as well, Bob seems to have taken a fright. " What is it Bob?" oh that smell, this is getting worse!

"Quick run, it's the nikinikikatungung!"

I've Gone and Done it Again

2010-01-09T23:44:00.002-07:00

I have hurt myself with reality once more. These dreams dashed upon the icebergs of the now, notwithstanding my inability to recognize the waters sailed would be dashed upon the weakened hull of my conscience. I knew the route was impossible, but that didn't stop the blind optimism from common sense. I would like to say a lesson learned, but know that I learned nothing. Icy waters of self loathing engulf the once brave spirit enthroned in shimmering ineptitude.

I knew this would happen, but insisted on the outcome anyway. If only my dreams could reconcile reality to formulate an outcome beneficial to my delusions. All this on the ones that got away. I am sure they sailed this way only to find an impassable sea of heartache and doubt, but I could not follow. I just want what it is that everybody else seems to have, knowing my riches I forsake them for the promised glitter of a by gone era, and those mistakes that I committed when I was young and foolish, now that I am older yet even more the fool I can't but help my deluded style and fathomed depth.

So step right up and laugh while I dredge this new mistake into the light for all to see, hurling myself to the masses and ashamed of my silent quandary, bereft of a once again heartache and long live mediocrity, I am resigning myself once more to a chosen misunderstanding. Melancholy memories of a beautiful person who I couldn't quite speak up until it was too late, I've lived with this heart on my sleeve to damned long and wish for it to reside comfortably where it needs to be. All the mistakes I've made seem to pile up on me when I least expect but blindly knew to be coming.

A Darkest Place

2010-01-06T03:20:00.002-07:00

I broke forward onto this place. Not entirely sure where this place is. It's dark, earthy smell. Not a bad smell, but rather one of rich soil slightly damp, thick with vegetation and nutrients. Rather pleasant actually. I feel around, my eyesight slowly coming to. Only the slightest sliver of light seems to have made it here, wherever this is. The ground is soft, spongy, and warm, not unlike a comfortable bed really. Ah, here now, I think is where the smell is coming from, this patchy moss is everywhere.

Standing up now, gently, wouldn't want to hit my head. My eyes still haven't adjusted to my surroundings. Roots, massive tangles arching above my head, I have no idea where the ceiling is, but I am sure that it can't be to far up.

Only moments before I sat on a battlefield. Wounded. Then darkness, a swimming sensation, then this. My entry seemingly halted by a force that I made my way through. I wonder... The silence of this place is overbearing, aside from my steps in this soft ground, and the roots at my head, nothing, not even an echo, the muffled tones seem to slip into the darkness without so much as a nod good bye.

Over the top that rash young lieutenant said, then blowing his whistle we all poured forward, rushing into the blazing guns of the Hun. Pain, then this. But I am unhurt now. I know not anything of my situation, yet far prefer this than to anything I was faced before. I still have my rifle, my mask, everything I had before, only now...

That light from before, seems to be leading me on. Strange, I didn't notice it moving before. Gone now. Curious. It is rather dark and Ummpf! A door, and my nose, I should say that if it weren't for the dark I still wouldn't see with how much they water just now! A knob, seems no where else to go but out.

The sun! Oh my eyes if they weren't hurt before this radiant light now before me has all but blinded me! This sound before me sounds awfully strange yet not remarkably dangerous. Kind of like flallomp pa foo! Curiouser and curiouser. I...

"Excuse me sir, but could you please get off of our flallop area?"

to be continued...

Old Liars Club

2009-12-26T01:22:00.001-07:00

So here I sit unamused by the belittled movements of the planets. Under no circumstances shall I reveal to them my thoughts, oh no. I know what Jupiter does to those who trust him. I saw it with my own eyes. What is it you ask? If I told you, then the bad will happen to me. Don't believe me? Tough, you will have to take it on faith. I am sure that if you can conjure up enough faith for deities, then so you can with me. But that is neither here nor there, my point was that I don't care what you or the planets think, because Saturn has it in for me, I know it.

What were we talking about again? I forget. You see my mind just isn't what it used to be. I can't be responsible for my ramblings you see, I haven't got the knack you see. Why I remember back in my New York jazz days. There wasn't a lady I couldn't woo with the sultry tones of my saxophone, its deep rumblings of the baritone bounding across the room. Satchmo and his trumpet were no match for my screaming alto. I was the best there was, and no man could claim otherwise. Do you smell that? Anyway, it was one night at the Saxon when... what is that smell? It seems to be getting worse. What were we talking about? The planets? Ah yes, Jupiter is an ass. There I said it, and you can tell him I said it. I...my god no... not after all these years... I escaped you once, I can do it again, I urk, ugh, cruaaaaaauuugh!

As Louis Armstrong played in the background, the old liar could not escape the truth of the nikinikikatungung. For no man can escape its awful truth, and the bejanzzling will be the worse for the wait. The smell subsides, the old man is dead, and the nikinikikatungung has struck again. Louis Armstrong fades into the night.

Burden of the Mind

2009-12-21T02:30:00.000-07:00

It is a sad truth that sets me here today. I am unable to recognize the intents of others and bring myself to the reasoning that I am what I thing I am. I seek what anyone seeks, I want what anyone wants, but it seems that I am unable to accomplish these ends because of my lack of ability.
What brought me here today? Of this I am unsure, however, I do know that my being here has altered least not my perception of not only myself, but others that I could care less about, as well as those that I care most for. Drinking in these thoughts I realize that I am lost confused and most assuredly alone. Can anyone else understand my concerns, my doubts? I speak so surely of myself around others, but my thoughts betray me, if only to myself, then that is enough.
I can only hope that I endure the fate that I have laid for myself. The weight of my mind is to great to comprehend, yet it is that very weight in which I wish to increase, while that of my location wishes to decrease. Understandably I haven't given myself the opportunities to release that which lies dormant within, that is a shell that is to hard to break. Twenty eight years of solid defense from others has successfully isolated myself from everyone else, but it has had the unfortunate consequence of trapping me inside. So much so that I am unsure of what I truly am. This frightens me to no end.
Can I say that I truly regret my decisions however? I think that perhaps I cannot, for me to be any other way is simply to not be me, and that is the basic foundation that I have. But even if I have no regrets as to my decisions, that does not mean that I am happy with them. It is the unfortunate reality that most of us live with a deep and foreboding hatred of ourselves and everything that we are. We are unhappy. This is the destiny we have burdened ourselves with simply because we think to a degree that dissatisfies us.
Our humble upbringing has us questioning everything that we do. What is this? Why does this do that? Etc. ad infinitum. Were we that of other creatures that think less about everything and think only of living. Oh the life we could live of a simple beast. Is this still possible if we had no language. Could a child raised by wolves be happy? With no greater understanding that what the next meal involves. The burden of the mind is the fate of mankind, and we cannot avoid the responsibility of it's use in a manner that makes us more that our sum parts. Creatures of this world we may be with our bodies, but beings of infinite power we could be with our minds.

And the Beedrat Argues Thermodynamics

2009-12-13T01:50:00.002-07:00

With the rustling of the bushes, the knippewhil sat ensconed by the mutterings of the beedrat. The knippewhil had been floloping, but was just floloped out when it came across the beedrat. As far as it could make out, the small indistinguishable creature was going on about science, namely something called thermodynamics. Unfortunatly for the knippewhil, this was something altogether unheard of.

Why can't these little creatures be happy with the simple things in life, like floloping, thought the knippewhil, but the beedrat would not be diswayed. For hours the young little beedrat sat there, with the knippewhil looking over its shoulder. Never once did the knippewhil notice that something was differant. Not until the beedrat dove for the bushes. What a funny reaction thought the knippewhil. Altogether to late to notice the soft sculptural sounds of Charles Mingus. The dreaded nikinikikatungung was already done bejanzzling the knippewhil before it realized what had happened.

The moral, never argue thermodynamics with a beedrat, while Charles Mingus plays in the background.

Whatever has to happen Mustn't

2009-12-12T22:45:00.002-07:00

Woah, I forgot I had this thing. Then there it was, wasting away on the vestiges of the intrawebs. Wew, I guess I shouldn't my things languish like this. I'm sorry my little blog, I won't ignore you anymore, at least for the next week, after that is anybody's guess. So, onward to the point dear friends! I have decided to begin this again, with a certain series of mind craps that can be found lurking in the darker regions of my subbasementconscience. What I mean to say is, nothing drastic not with sandwiching, I will post stories and or observances again here, and there is not a damn thing that you can do about it. So you should sit down, relax, set your sanity aside, and fall in. For now I am going to say if you haven't been here before, read some of the older posts, they are entertaining, or so I thought, that is why I edited them.

Enjoy this rebirth!

plagiarized from the person living under my skin.

What Now?

2008-04-20T00:57:00.000-06:00

Dreaming instrumental of the transient lifeway. One step further down that inescapable road of intermediary restlessness. Drained from the long live treetops and a sense of duty that percolates in the unknown masses. Delved by the quadratic, inspired by the attempt of dogged distant débutante's desires. Harumphed, harangued, and halted. Misquoted by the moon while in conversation to the sun but the clouds had no say. Gold seamen and a desperate attempt at naval metallurgy. My face wiped to blight the sight of all whom it touches and the soul should sunder from the unwavering understanding that I shouldn't but already did, no wonder the wonder to wander in wanton wishes. Crushed in all embraces this spring has ground me up yet again. I'm not bitter, I'm resigned to a life of solitude and separation. To be engulfed in a field of drugged deviants. So life, this is what we have, what now?

!

2008-04-04T11:26:00.002-06:00

Who are you?! How did you find me!? Nothing to see here! Move along! I'm hiding now! And who the hell was that on the telephone! I'm scared! I'm not shouting, you are!

Sick

2008-02-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

Tired and annoyed. I completely forgot that I had a class starting on the 4th, so I missed the first week of it. I feel like I have bitten off more than I could chew with classes and assignments, and on top of all that, I need to find a part time job. Which is to say that the only time I can work is before 10 am, and weekends. I just want to curl up and fade away. When do I have time for all of this? I wish I knew, but I had better find out. I know that I will be able to do all this and get everything done. I just feel ill from the pressure. I don't know. I really don't.

1 2 3 4

2008-01-09T19:47:00.000-07:00

Just a short poem written last fallish. Plagiarized from the person under my skin.

An Accord

Some accordance of isolation is keeping me away
This lonely sigh is but my destiny
I haven't understood all these passes
Until they have already passed
Looking at her I only see me
Alone and mistreated by all except all
So I huddle within and hide from myself
In the hopes that if I can't find me then nobody can
I want it so much that I deny it from me
So quiet I still breathless and free
That the darkness I see engulfs not just me
But any image of her, you and he.

Last Breath

2008-01-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

A little fiction for you all, plagiarized from the person living under my skin.

Breathing deeply is the only way. All the pain, the nausea, to heartache, it can go away if I breath deeply. I don’t want to suffer anymore, but the very remembrance is enough to bring back everything. Deeper, breath deeper. I look forward to a day when I won’t suffer for this anymore. Even if by my own hand that I suffer, I try to shrug this, but it seems that I’ve developed a habit of it. Suffering for you.

Walking down the street, I catch your fragrance, the smallest scent of you, and the nausea returns. The physical illness brought upon by your memory. I will it to end, but want it forever, all my love for you lets me feel. The love is deep, pulsing, all encompassing. The loss somehow goes deeper, tapping into the darkest reaches of my soul. With icy clutches of bony fingers it slowly steels me, to be tempered by ice and frost. Only the effervescent memory of you keeps the fingers from taking me completely.

But it was you that let those fingers find me. The icy hands are the result of your decision. The choices you made, my failings toward you, the choices I couldn’t make. I thought I saw you yesterday. I couldn’t breath. My vision went black, and you had gone. I know now that I love you still, but that I wasn’t strong enough to admit that, even to myself, until you had gone. This pain in my chest is but the legacy of a fool, gone now are the proud thumpings upon my chest in the presence of men, and arrived is the desperate clutching of an impoverished creature.

My misunderstandings and blind pride hid from me what I knew to be too precious to loose. I claimed happiness, but denied it out of sheer fright. You were the one, the all, and now you have moved on and found happiness anew. But I, I failed, and am now faltering. I had, and now I don’t. I don’t blame you, how can I? I still love you, but these icy fingers claw at me once more. Breath deep. Close your eyes don’t let them know they have you.

My breath is failing now. I can’t seem to get air in. Gone are the deep breaths, and in there place, short gasps. Everything is too bright. The hands have me now, the cold isn’t so bad once you get used to it. The claws don’t dig in anymore. A tear? I can smell the warm saltiness of this last drop. The tang of the salt is overwhelming. Is that you? I can smell you now. And in all the light I swear that you are leaning over me. The cold is gone, replaced by warmth. A smile is trying to steal its way across my face, but the effort is too much. I want only to sleep now. The pain isn’t gone, only distant.

My breath stops. The cold steel of the gun in my hand is the last thing I feel. Your face the last thing I see. Your fragrance the last thing I smell. But the lingering doubt…

My Farthing Has Stated Fare Thee Well

2007-12-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

I really have no idea what that is supposed to mean, but nevertheless it is there. Well, let's see here, what exciting melodramas have I been in lately. Ah yes, the inevitable return to Wyoming, with snow, ice, wind, and drifts. Fun. I-80 was a bucking fun sheet of lumpy ice, with white snakes of snow tumultuously racing about it. What fun says I. Not really says the person living under my skin.

What else, let's see here. Maybe my return to Durango soon? Yes, quite good, January 6th. Back to sane country. Where snow falls from the sky, not the ground, or the next town over (which is no less that 100 miles away, see for yourself, I am NOT exaggerating.) Well, nothing else really, I guess I'll be spending new years here, which means I'll be in bed by 10 at the latest.

Ok then, thats enough of this non silliness, now, get the hell off my lawn you dozy brats. Er, um, sorry guvner, no offense. Once again plagiarized from the person living under my skin. Selah.

Home Sweet Snow

2007-12-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

I am now happily back in Colorado, away from Wyoming, so that is a good thing. And it is snowing, Ah the good white stuff, that makes the roads slick and the world quiet. Anyway, I just thought that I would post something quick, long trip, got in late, sometimes it is worth it. Selah.

I'm Not Pretty in Pinkin'

2007-12-18T18:12:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy to be here, I could just die. But seriously, more uneventful monotony in lovely Wyoming. Ok, so I will be arriving in the San Juans soon, and couldn't be happier about it. I know that I will only be away from here about a week, but when I return, I'll only be here about another week after that, with a good chunk of change in my pocket.

On another note, I am looking forward to more art type stuffs in January. I have two planned paintings and am currently working on one digital illustration. "Hot Times!" said Joe. I am really enjoying the digital art stylings. It's different, and seeing as how I intend to make a living off of it, had better practice it.

Well, I guess I should do something constructive. Like attempting to understand deconstruction. False Realities and all. Actually, I prefer to construct reality in the Faucaultian way. Once again, this post was completely and shamelessly plagiarized from the person living under my skin.

Who's that Rube in the Bushes?

2007-12-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

Must be me. Seeing as how I can't sleep, thanks to Amy... just kidding. Before I have an existential meltdown, I decided to spew some mental quandaries. Boundaries? Not being able to see the keyboard? Or having the internet crap out on me for the 1248th time today. I am ready for that saucy puppet show now. Time to delve into my madness.

For a hundred years preceding this menagerie of mental monotony, I decided to become the kind of person who misunderstands the very fabrication of reality and give it a go anyway. Reality that is, not fabrication, or was it the other way around? I've already forgotten. Maybe the person under my skin could let me in on the decisions. I just need to get that promotion of Not Being In The Dark All The Damn Time. The occult creations of platarian insubstantially and the very thing you know are interested in the mindless greed of designer harps. Head vs Heart = Bicycle vs Car.

Now, where the hell is my Tab, and how to I get to that saucy puppet show?

Wherefore our Protagonist Finds Himself Once Again in Wyoming

2007-12-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

Yup, here I sit once again in Rawlins, Wyoming. This time not for very long, but long enough. I get to return to 'rango again on Thursday, but that, my friends, is only brief. Seeing as how I have to be back here by the 28th through the 5th. Which means I will miss seeing Alex again. I always enjoy visiting him this time of year.

Anyway, the reason for my being here is money. Simply put I need some to continue school. I am working on my design degree, and am almost done...maybe. who knows, I could decide to want the coveted and not really needed masters... We'll see. Once I have my second bachelors, there will be no stopping the awesome power that is me...no really, don't look at me that way, I mean, it could happen...fine, be that way. Rain on my parade, snow on my sundae, eat my banana smoothie. Killjoy.

So I get to make money, enjoy the company of my dad, and be cold, miserably deathly cold. Not to mention an Internet connection that is as inconsistent as a stealth elephant. Working great one minute, then the next, WAM, nothin'. Bugger. So I cant watch videos, or go to the sites that I usually do, like the escapist and homestar. Selah. But I will hopefully get some graphics done, and maybe even a video... Not that I can upload anything as of this moment.

I also went through and read many old posts here. What nonsensical crap. Some of it. Others I like. I had quite the streak of intellectual/philosophical thought there for awhile. And I liked it. It was fun...what the hell happened. the high ideals of my early twenties I guess. Then I began concerned with crap, and consequently went downhill from there. But that's the way it goes sometimes.

Well, with that, I think that I will end this post with the usual shenanigans. This post will be simulblogged on Vae Vicitus over at that myspace place, and was completely plagiarized from the person living under my skin. Also to any new readers, I just want you to give a big Al PachinoHOOHAW!....congratulations, you are now a member of the Al Pachino hoohaw club. Adieu!

Bad Internet

2007-12-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

and long hours. my internet doesn't wrok so good right now, so if i ignore ya, it isnt intentional, I just have to get out of wyoming first. anyway, this is a quick message, because I dont know how long it will work, thcuss!

Procrastination

2007-12-09T00:11:00.001-07:00

From writing my art theory final. I just don't want ot finish this bloody thing. But if I do, then all is well in the universe...or at least the Joeneverse. I just noticed I have 1800 total views. Thats like a landmark or summin. I should do something for it. I may... I may not. The hand of fate can shake my ass..The skipper 's my friend, not the captain....I don't know whats gonna happen...

plagerized from amny sources, including Bob Schneider and the person living under my skin...

I Have Been Compromised!

2007-11-24T22:58:00.000-07:00

In that a video (I'd hyperlink, but I don't wanna) of me has made it to you tube. Now I can easily see what kind of idiot that I present to you all, and can only say I'm sorry, I had no idea. You may now flog me upon the whipping post. I do apologize. I don't know what else to say. Frankly this is an embarrassment and I hope that I can rectify this situation to you all. The person under my skin suggests doing something about it, but I don't know, I think for now I will wallow in unrepentant blathering.
No seriously, in a way this is kinda cool, I do find the eye of the other upon myself a little strange, but doesn't everybody? Anyhow...
This semester is almost at an end and I couldn't be happier. Even though I have to go to Wyoming in December to work, I think that the break will do me some good. I can work, and maybe do some art. Oh the life of the artist for me, yo ho. Well, what else can I say? Nothing really, so I guess that I can end this with the usual statements. This post has been completely plagerised from the person living under my skin, and will be simulblogged on Vae Vicitus. Tchuss. Selah.

8 Random Tings

2007-08-19T12:57:00.000-06:00

8 Random Things About Me

Alex has been so kind as to tag me with this meme. I suppose that I can enlighten you all about me. So here it is. Here are the rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and that they should read your blog.
5. 8 is a magic number. Not three.

The FACTS:

1. Let us see. I was born in Cortez Colorado, lived in Dolores, and went to college in Durango. I love Colorado, and have spent time living in such locales as Crested Butte and Gunnison. I have also spent some time in Telluride, and spent a winter in Steamboat Springs. I have also spent time in Arizona, California, Wyoming, South Dakota and New Mexico. Needless to say I have lived life as a ski bum for much of my twenties.

2. I have an imagination that is in overdrive. I believe this is due to my reading, rereading, and rerereading of several fantasy and sci-fi books. I also thoroughly enjoy learning, and have been endeavoring to learn as much about everything as I can. I use all this info to fuel said imagination. It is constantly at work, even now. You usually don’t want to know what is going on in my head though. Narcissism knows no bound in my head.

3. I have a degree in European History. It is seemingly useless. But I learned a lot about other things than history with this degree. I learned to write in a professional matter, research, and speak rhetorically. Also I learned how to bluff (bullshit) my way through many situations. But alas I could not stay away, and am earning my Graphic Design degree. Said imagination also fuels this.

4. I almost died in a ski accident. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. Not being in control of a situation I had almost always maintained. It only took a split second on the 50 degree slope. I lost my edge on my snowboard. When I tried to plant my edge back and stop myself, I was twirled around headfirst down slope. I slid 30 feet face first into a tree. I was then flipped upside down and hung in a tree. That was fortunate otherwise I would have been sliding on my back headfirst into a rockier and heavier forested area. I was finally freed and was able to ride down under my own power with ski patrol. I looked like Rocky Balboa when I got to the base area. I haven’t been the same on the slopes since. I still love to ride in the trees though.

5. I am a member of the United Association of Apprentices and Journeymen of the Plumbing and Pipefitting Industries, Local 798, Tulsa Oklahoma. Go unions.

6. I speak English. I once tried to learn Spanish, but failed miserably on several occasions. I am now learning German and am succeeding. Go figure.

7. Some of my favorite bands you have never heard of. I am fine with that. I don’t listen to the radio, but I love music. I think that a lot of the music the industry pumps out isn’t all that good unless you are a prepubescent girl. But that’s ok. I don’t have to listen to it.

8. I am terribly insecure about a lot of things about myself. I try very hard to fight this, and have had moderate success in the last 10 years. I know that I should be happy with myself, and I am mostly, but there is always that nagging doubt. I also believe myself to be getting to the point were I will be able to let go my insecurities and self doubt.

Well, that’s it for this insight into me. Now let’s see. Whom shall I tag? Kara, Jess, Dave, Casey, Jody, Batman, Josh, and The person living under my skin.

Update from the Wyoming Prarie

2007-07-04T22:17:00.000-06:00

It's one hell of a show. I have always enjoyed intense lightning. The constant lightshow abounding across the Wyoming plains is hardly differant than the sureal majesty of lightning in the mountains of home. When coupled with fireworks celebrating our nation's independence, it's one hell of a show. This also being my birthday gives the spectacle even more significance for me. Life affirming one might say. It makes me feel good. Contentment. One has to find what one can when you have to do what you have to do to do what you want. Like I said, one hell of a show.

This post is plaguerized from the person living under my skin.

Ich haße mich.

2007-04-26T23:19:00.001-06:00

I am in the middle of packing. I hate packing. I am getting ready to go back to work. I hate my job. There are alot of people I said goodbye to today and the last week. I hate goodbyes, I especially hate the kind where it is for good, the I'll never see you again type. I invested time to get to know them, and now I can't see them anymore. I hate spring. Because this is the time of year when all this shit goes down. And lastly I hate me, because I let myself get this way. Also I have let myself do this. I really want summer to be over right now.

The Ever So Dauntless Return of the Real World

2007-04-08T22:48:00.000-06:00

I don't want to return. That is to the so called real world. I have had enough of it. I would rather paint all day and dream of.... er nevermind. I'm not ready to admit that to myself, let alone YOU internet and random people who can read this. As it is I have grown alot in the last 8 months. I am still the pathetic fat loudmouthed asshole but I am better able to not care so much. I have also found new veniews to be a fat loudmouthed pathetic asshole, as well as in a new language, evidenced of course by the severe tongue lashing I got on New Years in said tongue. HAH!

3 weeks until zero hour. Some of my work will be up in at least one of the campus gallaries, maybe both, who knows? But after that 4 months of backbreaking labor so I can do it all over again. I look forward to September, and loathe May. Oh how I will hate May. Probably June also, just for spite. Anyway, enough of this rambling. This may or may now be simulblogged, blah blah. Vae Vicitus, etc.
Sighning out once again with untoward plaguerization from under my skin.

Repeat Offenders Club

2006-09-01T23:31:00.000-06:00

Thats right, it is now official, I am back at Fort Leisure, resting on my laurels, taking art, and generally mooching about. Life is good. Which means that I am in 'rango again, so I cant claim CB as my residence anymore, even if I still have my postal key from there. Oh well, that chapter isnt finished yet, I might just get a chance to rewrite it again sometime soon. Damn the writers block. Bye Bye Crested Butte, hello 'rango. Crested Buttes drive me Nuttes, as someone once wrote on my rear window of my now extinct jeep. This post has been Simulblogged (TM) [motherfucker] on Vae Vicitus of myspace. The above post has been plaguerized from the person who lives under my skin.

An OC Weekend, or How I managed to See My Friends

2006-04-12T00:44:00.000-06:00

What a fun weekend, I got to see two very good friends of mine from way back, got a new phone that totally kicks ass, and visit my nephew and sister. Also, I don’t have to work, suckers! Anyway, California was awesome. I haven’t seen Alex or Ryan in a long time, so it was great to see them again and hang out. I also got to meet all sort of new and interesting people, including random girls that hang out with Ryan, as well as meet his girlfriend again, and also meet Alex’s girlfriend. It was a wonderful time and I hope to get out there again. So until next time, I shall bid you and the coast all adieu.

Say What?

2006-02-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I’m home for an undetermined amount of time, just sitting around not doing a damn thing, but painting, drawing, gaming and many other such exciting endeavors. Not that I am bragging, by any means, I am just glad I’m out of Wyoming. So the desert life is back again. Selah.

Wherefore our protaginist is once again deterred

2006-01-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

I’m back here in Colorado again, unfortunately it’s Craig. Meth capitol of Colorado, meh. Anyhow, my job has been extended indefinitely, so I may have one week, maybe two, maybe three. Oh well, I may get up to Steamboat again this weekend, get some turns in, more powder hopefully, or groomers if it doesn’t snow again, I know they just got a bunch more, so its there, I got my gear with me just in case. I might just stop at CB and get some turns there too…anyhow, more work, less fun, life sucks, but my bank account seems to be happy. The things we do for money, I wish I didn’t need it.

Marriage is in the Air

2006-01-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

Well, my sister is getting married. That’s a good thing, Cam is a great guy, very good natured, plus I get to make fun of his Canadian accent. Anyway, congrats sis, hope this works out for ya, I’m sure it will!

Another Ending

2006-01-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

Well, my time here is Steamboat is almost over, and I gotta say, I have enjoyed it. From Tuesday nights at the Tap House to a truly wonderful powder day on the mountain is some of the best trees I have ridden. Moving on, if you hadn’t noticed, I have a myspace account now featuring mental excretions that are entertaining, at least to me, so if they aren’t to you, I don’t really care, go away and bother me not with my insane ramblings. I guess that is enough for now, so until next time, get the hell offa my lawn.

Moving to Wamsutter

2006-01-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

Moving to Wamsutter

Not really permanently, just for a few weeks, Wyoming sucks, with the wind and all, and I will miss Steamboat, sort of. At least I finally got on the mountain, good powder, high wind, and low visibility, and I ROCKED that mountain. The trees were pretty good, not the best mountain I’ve ridden, but pretty good, like I said, the trees were excellent, and the amount of snow was good. Well, here’s to the future, 2006 what do you hold? Should be interesting to find out.

Vae Vicitus

2005-12-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

So, I's created me a new site for the usage of mental dumps beyond the boring day to day of my personal journal, blah, so go checks it out eh, its good, at least I think so, anyway....

Testing testing Blog

2005-12-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

Testing, testing, Blog for Word, hmmmmm.

Where am I?

2005-12-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

I've currently checked out for the time being, seeing the country, like South Dakota, and Wyoming. I am also now sitting in Steamboat Springs doing nothing really but working a shit job fr good money, hopefully soon I will be able to escape this temporary setback and continue with my bum lifestyle, until then I will randomly post, and may rant more often on a new page or two, who knows? Certainly not me, if I did, I wouldn't be in Steamboat, now would I?

What does the Future Hold?

2005-09-02T14:35:00.000-06:00

I wish I knew, but I am pretty sure that Crested Butte is not in it for very long, that is to say this traveller is moving on, when exactlly I don't know, and what will I be doing? I don't know, but the ski bum life is about over for me, living others dreams my ass, if living in poverty in a place were the cost of living is well above the national norm, living paycheck to paycheck, oh wait, that seems to be the norm for most of the country, thanks corporate capitalism, for making a decent living almost impossible without first investing thousands of dollars into an education that may or may not land a job.

Not that I am denying my own responsibility in this matter, poor choices and situations have also landed me here, damn quarter life crisis, the new living dilema for those that are 25 and have no direction, blah, just another excuse...

Time to figure out how to right this sinking ship.

selah...

By the Way...

2005-08-19T21:39:00.000-06:00

Resting in pieces.

Cough Cough, damn dust...

2005-08-19T21:18:00.000-06:00

Hmmm, I seem to remember having a blog, and here it is, well, time to wipe of the dust, and the cobwebs, and the squaters who have taken residence here, out out damn drifters. ok so on to business. I have succesfully moved...to Crested Butte, ha, and am now reconected to the world wide web.

Well, with my move I have also bought a new and shiny vehicle, since my last one had a run in with a trailer at 65 mph. All was well for everyone involved. But the late Jeep is now pushing up rust at some salvage yard, selah. At this point I wish I could post some pictures of the new machine and new homestead, however, my laziness and lack of a camara prohibit me, but hopefully that will change soon.

I will however say that my vehicle is a newer more fuel efficient machine than my previous ride. I am now the proud owner of a Nissan Frontier, mid-sive economical pickup. With a modest but not great 25 mpg it certainly beats my Jeep which at best recieved 20mpg. I also no longer have a 30 mile one way commute, but instead have a mild 3 mile commute, further decreasing the fuel consumed by this monster of the modern era.

Well, that seems to be all for now, hmm, yeah, definatly, I also hope I will post regularly again, here's to posting. Selah...
JLA

Writing Just to Write

2005-05-17T20:50:00.000-06:00

Well, as my life is entirelly to important for me blog, but here it is in all its boring splendor. Hmmm, nothing new really, still living.

Bah, Right Back Where I Started

2005-05-09T20:51:00.000-06:00

Well, It has been awhile. Much has happened to me since that fateful tree/face incident. Hmm, you know, things like winning trips to tropical islands, saying goodbye to my Argentine girls, a sobatical in the desert, and a conferance in Junk town.

Well, not to much really since february, just livin' life. The conferance was fun, I learned alot about skilifts that I didn't know, got good and drunk on multiple nights, and ended up having an all around good time. As for the sobatical, just some time off spent at the ol' homestead, because it was IMPERATIVE that I get out of the Gunnison Valley, which despite all of its beauty, is somehow lacking is spring, although I guess spring really hasn't begun up valley yet, what with several feet of snow still ocupying the mountains.

Well, that is the post for now, since I don't really want to go into any real detail, ciao.

Post Script.
I am also working at Crested Butte as a mechanic again as of today. Three day weekends here I come.

Quiz Crap

2005-03-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

It has been too long since I posted properly on this, but since the ac_patriot had this quiz, I thought why not? I wasnt going to post it, but the results amused me, highly, take that roman Catholic upbringing, selah. Hopefully soon a new post will be coming, I cant be bothered to take positive action right now though.

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

Satanism

75%

Buddhism

67%

Islam

50%

Paganism

46%

Christianity

38%

Hinduism

33%

atheism

33%

agnosticism

33%

Judaism

29%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Why Not? Everyone Else Was Doing It

2005-03-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

You scored as Green.

Green

75%

Socialist

67%

Anarchism

67%

Communism

58%

Democrat

33%

Republican

Nazi

Fascism

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
created with QuizFarm.com

Death of the Originol Gonzo Journalist

2005-02-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

Hunter S. Thompson found dead of self-inflicted gunshot wound in Woody Creek Colorado. Damn, such a pioneer of so much dead by his own hand... what a shame.

Why Faces Don't Make Good Brakes

2005-02-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened, after many years of riding, a major accident. More details will come later, bu suffice it to say, that I hit a tree today whilst snowboarding. The pain is not so bad, and nothing seems to be broken, at least according to the doc, but it has brought me down a noych or two. I will add more when I can see the screen better and use boyh hands to type, rather than one hand holding the cold press.

May 2004 Die with Indignity

2004-12-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

Well, it is the 31st of December, mere hours away from aught-five, here's to hoping 05 goed better than 04! I will be checking back in sometime next year, so have fun all you party kids and be safe.

Adrift on a Sea of the Vernacular

2004-12-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

Holiday depression is crap, that is unless your me, and you just dropped 3500 dollars on repairing your vehicle. Thanks to the deer that lost its life under my Jeep, the epitomy of a bad luck vehicle. Well, I hope that is all it costs, so my insurance doesnt total out my vehicle. Well, at least they will pay for it. Thats good news I suppose, but until it is fixed, next year, I am out a car, so the 30 mile comute to work just got a lot more interesting.

Well, I suppose that is all the truly bad news for now. This is just a cementation of my dislike of the holidays. Once again, I suppose I could put a possitive light on things, like the fact that the bus from Crested Butte to Gunnison rolled over Monday, hurting many people. Fortunatly none were killed, but that has to be some shitty luck right there.

Life, don't even talk to me about life. Getting something good out of life is an opinion, getting shafted is normal.

Oh yeah, and the high temperature is 0 F tomorrow, and -30 tonight.

Beware the Nikkinikkikatungung

2004-12-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd bring that up.

Transcendant Stupidity

2004-12-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

On my part no less. It is'nt often that the center of the universe can readily admit that he screwed up. How did I screw up you might ask? Well, I'm not going to tell you, just because I can admit a mistake doesnt mean that I have to tell everyone. Oh well, I guess that my imperfections make me perfect, to take a Nipponese take on the world.

Now work has been ok, it is just a continuation of my life's ambition, or more appropriatly the lack there-of. The good part is I am meeting new people, like Julie from Pittsburg, or Nikki or Christina or Jane or hmmm, as I think of it, I seem to really only be meeting women... and on second thought, I think I like that. Of course I jest, I am meeting many new people, it just seems that I remember the womens' names better. Yeah, how utterly sexist of me. heh.

But aside that my life has become a drudgery of the repetitive. Underneath the Onion Trees...

More Ramblings

2004-12-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened again, and again, and will probably keep happening, but I really cant complain. Why should I? Anyway, Crested Butte called me, yep, mmhmmm, thats right. A return to skibum. sigh. For now at least, one other job prospect is rearing its head, so who knows. Lets find out, shall we?

Extinction of the species "homo skii tecto carens"

2004-12-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

It seems that I am to regoin the ranks of a certified ski bum. Yes, the epitomy of 30 years of a cultural phenomenon so great that many people wish to forsake their well paying jobs in suburbia's across the country just to spend a winter in a small town with large amounts of booze and skiing.

Or something like that. As the bullwheel turns, the ultimate drama of a Coloradan, also known as my life. I know my self involvment and importance, (who is after all the center of the known universe) has much to do with this, however I can not for the life of me understand why I just cant seen to escape the continuing culture of no money, no women, turns and booze. Sweet sweet acohol. Fresh fresh powder.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I may be going back to work for a ski area, namely Crested Butte, that soulless place of moronic managers and owners. (not that that is any differant of any other resort let me tell you). You see, I have gained an understanding of ski areas. Despite my only having worked for two resorts, they both fundamentally work the same way. Now I dont want to get into the hows and whys of their perpetual stupidity, only that these small resorts all think they are Vail or Aspen. (which coincidentally no living thing with intelligence has been found in either valley those towns are in for at least 20 years). My harsh view of ski areas is a derivative of living in Colorado for my entire life, coupled with a growing familiarity with them due to my seeminly unwilling nack of getting caught up in them.

So as I was saying, I may soon be employed (the good part) to Crested Butte as a lifty (the bad part). But at least it is money to pay rent and bills. sort of. Said ski bumness is the draging factor in this. You see, the ski bum is a dying breed. Some could argue that is has already become extinct during the great boom of the '80s. However, like many species, they had to adapt, gone are the days of resort hopping without a job and getting in turns at all the resorts. Now it is become a one resort species. The free rangers are near gone. Yet the one resort breed with a job has largly replaced and become the dominant species of ski bum. Yes, the ski bum has changed, and I am one, however that makes you feel, I dont care, try living for a while.

Don't get me wrong, it is a great lifestyle, until you want something, anything. I love the life, hate the pay I guess you could say. Anyway, the job search isnt going well.

Quitter

2004-11-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

Ahem, attention all, I quit, thats right, I quit caring about this country, because no one else seems to care. Bah, fear and loathing.

Welcome to Paradise

2004-11-10T21:17:00.000-07:00

So I was sitting at the top of Paradise today, and a thought reacurred to me. I was supposed to move to Argentina if Bush won this election. Well, I guess it is time to pack my bags...sigh. Just when I was thinking that the USA was maybe gonna make a change for the better, well, mildly better. I would rather be led by a giant douch than a terd sandwich.

I also heard something unnerving while in Paradise, and it was this. In a county in Ohio, were something like 689 votes were cast for President, Bush still somehow recieved over 3900 more than Kerry. Yup, electronic voting devices are an excellent idea. Bah. Viva Los Estados Unidos, may our own stupidity be reconciled in four years, that we dont irrevocably destroy our image by those that we somehow have representing us as our leaders...

Marriage is Keen When it is'nt Me

2004-10-20T21:26:00.000-06:00

It's official now, Keegan is getting married, the second friend of mine in this year. Keegan found himself happiness in a woman enough to move to another country for, as well as commit to one of the largest commitments outside of parenthood. This is a good thing for him, no doubt about it. Somehow it just doesn't seem real to me though. Not to long ago, that is a few years ago, it seemed that bachelorhood was the stated mean for those of my highschool social group, and it was for a long time. It makes me think, how quickly it was for Brant, that I knew it was coming for Keegan sent no less of a shock through me with the foreknowledge.

Now I know that my bachelorhood is a given thing, for now, and for the foreseeable future. I've fought the good fight, that is, if I were at war with marriage, it would be suing for peace because it has no chance of winning. Kind of like our involvement in Iraq....heh. Yet you never can tell, something could happen, never was I expecting Keegan or Brant to wed, yet here it is, 2004, one down, one to go.

I suppose that my lack of understanding is bent on my world view that I am a solitary creature. My happiness does not depend upon others. Nor do I actively seek anybody that could fill the void of loneliness that so many fill with marriage or friends. I have the friends I have, and make new ones very slowly to replace those that I have moved away from, or they away. I still keep contact with those that I see as important to me, oldest friends, well known and with good memories. But what if they weren't there anymore, what could I say? My minimalist attitude could be considered unhealthy, but I am not attempting to please anyone but myself, because I am after all a very selfish person.

So all I can say is congratulations Keegan, may your future be happy and joyful, and your new life built upon the foundations of your old, that we your friends may have served you well in preparation. Good luck and good life.

Be Gone!

2004-10-11T19:26:00.000-06:00

Well well, now that that little bout of depression has worked its way through my system..it's amazing what a new day could bring, just remember when things start wearing on you that tomorrow will be differant. Of course the help from my friend Mike and the words of wisdom from Alex didnt hurt either...

But thats that, and well, my uncertain future has developed a prospect of getting me through this winter with a snowcat driving job, hopefully...
Beside that nothing really new, other that claiming the peak of Mount Crested Butte today on foot. Talk about a new perspective, I havent summited in a long time, and the 13 thousand or so feet of the mountain definatly left its toll on me, but I cant complain, being so high up with so much below me is an awe inspiring feeling that I cant get enough of. To know that I was the highest person up on foot for maybe a hundred miles is something to consider, at least for me anyway.

Depresario

2004-10-04T19:29:00.001-06:00

The year is 2004
and from the start it hasnt performed
how can one person survive when an entire year has gone by with bad luck
luck may be what you make it
but the things you cant help
the things that are beyond control of human involvment
those have been to abundant this year for me
whats the point of being positive?
why even bother
life can give you some hard decisions
i just wish i didnt have to make anymore
whats the point of living if i cant live?

Crap Crap Crap....Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

2004-08-21T23:21:00.000-06:00

Well, here I sit in my apartment in Gunnison. Very interesting I know. Life has been handing me some raw deals lately. What with jobs, moving, massive automobile reconstructions and the massive amounts of money that go with it, and the lack of said money. Well, at least it is quite here, and very beautiful. But cold, not very often that temperatures stay under 60 degrees in August, let alone under freezing at night. Thats right, fall has already started here. Leaves changing and such. But thats no big deal, at least the snow will be falling soon, and hopefully I will have a job this winter, it not, I dont know what I will do. Maybe a suicide run down the Banana at Crested Butte. heh, these words need not be so light. Look to the right of this pick, yeah, thats the stuff, the shit that looks unskiable, mm-hmm, thats it. Anyway, I've lost the desire to continue this post, until next time...

2004-08-06T21:47:00.000-06:00

Hello, is this thing on? Testing... I wonder what sort of impact my absence has had. Probably none. Crested Butte, Colorado is my new home. Long ways from Durango I know. California, was great, good freinds, good times, poor luck. Poor performance by me as well. I miss the ocean, from the brief period I spent there. But the mountains are an excellent substitute, at least they will be once the snow flies. Much has happened, and I will finally be updating this again, however, now is not the time to go into details. Look forward all ye who enter here, Ich Will Nicht enters the Gunnison- Crested Butte years, or year, or whatever.

2004-05-19T03:14:00.000-06:00

GOD DAMNIT! attempt two of this post, and the abbriged version. None of the crap about the post office, or my job interview. Back to Solona Beach however. As I was saying, it is Durango on the Beach, the Belly Up Club was a tight place, and to top it all off, Bob Scheider was playing there, one of my favorite musicians in the USA. He may be a relative unknown, but has some damn good tunes, and has the stage energy of a bonfire exploding upon recieving a healthy dose of gasoline. The place was crowded with tons of hot San Diego girls. For the first part of the show I sat back and dug the tunes and stared at the eye candy. and indeed, they were all of the 21 and up club, unlike Ryans crew...Then about a third of the way into the show I jumped out on the dance floor, worked my up into the crowd, and started to dance and move with the music, because by that time Bob was really gettin into the show, and so was the crowd, from there it turned out to be a totally rocking show. Afterwards I picked up my copy of the show that they recorded that night, then got a chance to talk with Bob. I got him to sign my disc for me. Unfortunatly, I did get a little star struck when talking, and the natural high from the show still had me shakin, so i didnt really get to say much. Damn me, its not like hes really famous or anything, but he is one of my musical idols, so that meeting did hold alot of significance for me. But alas. I also almost caught the pick that was thrown out into the crowd after the encore. So that was the night, now i sit listening to the show that I just listened to. And it is on the song that he wrote in Colorado. that seems like a good place to end it. ciao. JLA

2004-05-15T19:12:00.000-06:00

New interface, i have been away awhile eh? hunpf, dont think i am much inclined toward this new look, but Ill get used to it, i mean, trying to fight change is like being GW, and we all know how much we hate that particular representative of the species. anyway, just thinking to post crap, so i did, HA!

2004-04-21T02:06:00.000-06:00

First post in Cali. hmmm. It has been interesting out here, and the trip was fairly uneventful. I am attempting to find a job right now and I also am getting used to the idea of being here. While I am still getting used to the freeway system I feel that driving on them is not so bad, it is the knowing where everything is that I have troubles with. And of course my rampant paranoia is messing with me too. Alex and Ryan have been helpful in my move here and have allowed me to stay with them until their lease is up. Which is hopefully this month so we can move to Newport Beach soon. Well, I cant really think of anything else for now so ciao.

2004-03-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Borderline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test

Damn Im Schizo... I always knew I was messed up.

2004-03-08T23:22:00.000-07:00

Thank You Vancouver
For attacking Moore and sending him out on a stretcher.
Thank You Vancouver
For creating one of the most discouraging acts in the game of hockey
Thank You Vancouver
For giving Hockey a bad name in the national press
Thank You Vancouver
For taking a beautiful game and turning it to a blood bath
Fuck You Vancouver
Fuck You Bertuzzi
Fuck You May
I hope you are forbidden from the playoffs
Because a team like you dosent deserve the right to play for Lord Stanleys Cup.

2004-03-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

Here is a poem I wrote many years ago, Alex you may remember it.

Liber Beneleventaie
Forever is the day
Forever is the way
In the infinite world
And the undying land
For the liberation of all
In the benevolence of the light
Let your soul uplift
For the rightous path
Shred the night and come into the light
Come from the darkness
Let your cares wash away
With the dying of the night
So come, come for yourself
Leave behind your woes
And prepare your soul
For the untarnished good
And the release from care
Enter, enter the life
And bring along purity
Let your mind expand
To the point of unbeing
So release, release yourself
And come into the light
forever going, forever continuing
But never end, in the undying day.

2004-02-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

exhaustion creeps over me after an asounding day at the Purg. 26-42 new inches last night. More snow than Purg knows what to do with, that brings up the base to 96 inches of the official 26 that the resort claims. shovel shovel shovel all day long. Dumb ass Gapers asking "is there any groomed terrain here?" heh, as if they could even move that much snow. Actually, we were lucky to even get the mountain open today because we could only shovel so much snow. ugh. the runs were great, face shots everywhere. word. snow. tired. sleep. zzz.

2004-02-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

Ralph Nader as an independent candidate. Holds apeal and he has some good thoughts on how this country should be run. But there is a problem to his bid for the presidency. Many people believe that he split the Democratic vote just enough to cause Gore to lose the electoral vote to Bush. Now as the 2004 election heats up with Senator Kerry seemingly in the lead with the possibility of gaining the Democratic Nomination for his bid to the presidency, Ralph Nader steps in as an Independent (as no organized third party will accept him). The problem posed now is that he holds once again the possibility of spliting the Democratic vote when it is imperative to get Bush out of office. Senotor Kerry may not ge the best candidate for the Presidency, but he is far preferable to Bush. While I respect Nader I firmly believe if he wanted to truly make a differance he would work within the Democratic Party to clean it up, rather than insure the presidency to some Republican hack. To pull from the Denver Post here is a site of someone who voted for Nader in the last election. http://www.RepentantNaderVoter.com . I am uncertain if he can split the Democratic vote, so let me pose this question, Do you even want to risk 4 more years of Bush? I certainly dont, but thats just me.

2004-02-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

I am now the King of Sweden, bow before me all. Keegan is now my property as is Ryan and Alex (although they dont know this yet). My claim to the throne is indicative of a certain odd set of events that I will not disclose now, as my corronation is not yet complete. All hail his majesty the King of Sweden, JOE!

2004-02-14T22:11:00.000-07:00

Tokyo
Bob Schneider

I went where all the girls are beautiful
Golden hair and radiant smiles
And cocaine high oblivion to pain
It made me feel so damn inadequate
And insane for the feel good feeling
High inside their helium trancemade vapor
Feeling grim and grimy
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
To where I wanna be today
But lonely ain't a word with me
Absurd you see in crowded rooms
That's where it hits me
Splits me right in half and out spills the emptiness
And no one wants to talk with someone
Cut in two and blue acting werewolf crazy
And hairdooed and out of control
Would you like some company
No thanks I’ve had my fill today

Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away

I wanna ride this party off into the sunset I
T's a mystery to me to see this girl over here
With the beer and the queer and the look
So debonair and she don't care
About this looking so good feeling so fine
Motherfucker that I be cold chilling in the place
Taste yes I’ve got it plenty any more and I’d be Dinty Moore
And dental damns and Irish ham and rocket jam

Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away

I don’t my fake fur feather boa lust like Noah
Tiger skin fucking mackin the clones ain't got no style
Wait a while and you can turn on the dial
And see my face with cuties gettin so much booty I
T's my duty to rock this fucker like Stan Getz
Get your paws off my cigarettes
I smoke Sherman you German looking vermin
You're squirmin now

Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away
Oh Tokyo’s not far enough away

Just thought I'd put that up, good song...

2004-02-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's funny how peoples interpretations of a dead text can so influence our thoughts and actions. I am sick of the religious people of the world who believe all should hold their beliefs or die is entirely biased thought. Anyway, that is unrelevant.

Busy ass PresDay weekend, all the New Mexicans, Arizonans and Texans are flocking to the Purg, and that makes by extension Durango REALLY suck ass right now. On a positive note, I am going to finnaly get a chance to do some figure drawing again, now that I have found a place that I can do it. So calming and relaxing, and also good practice for the book I am working on with Jody. I look forward to finnaly pulling the sketch books out again and do something. ah, but I am gushing, and that is enough for now, ciao....

2004-02-11T18:11:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, added a comments section to my blog from the good folks at HaloScan.com.

Also, I had a great time on the slopes Tuesday. I went with my friend Dave (the musician). Freshy Pow, trees and missing toe straps really signalled that day. It was fun and the weather was spectacular. I also managed to obtain most of Dave's works on CD, so now I have a pretty comprehensive collection of the best musician in Durango (my opinion of course). With that I think I am finished for now, not much else has happened, other than more poem writing, which will come later.

2004-02-07T22:59:00.000-07:00

Well look at me in my flurry of blogging of late. I went out tonight, and had a good time. Actually, what was supposed to happen and what actually happened was entirely differant. But hey, whos complaining. Instead of hangng out with Keegan and Jody as was the plan they BOTH pussed out on me for the second night in a row. Jesus H Christ, and I thought I was antisocial.

Anyway, I ran into my friend Id and found out he was playing down at the Abbey theatre, so I decided to go down and listen to his band Prima Facia. Good tunes. A suprising note to those who know Id, he is now sober and tonight was his first sober show. They rocked the house despite the technical difficulties and the punk ass kids who were shouting things at the stage. Anyway, when their set was done we went outside and smoked some celabratory cigars at having a good gig at THE place to play in Durango.

So with me not knowing the time I decided it was time to go home, as the next band up was a metal band and that just didnt float for me tonight. So here I am, cigar in hand and realizing that it is only 11 pm. Damn...Oh well. I had a good time and if I'm lucky there will be mad freshies of snow in the morning.

Peace out all.....JLA

2004-02-06T22:39:00.001-07:00

I do believe that I like that one better.

2004-02-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

Anguish for the Sun

Misery is mine, not for the taking
Sadness is strengthened by my love for it
For the hope in my heart is now going
My anguished cry leaps like a bullet
All for me to wallow in my despair
The cursed thought of my anger and sadness
While loneliness is my companion fair
Forever in my thoughts is ugliness
But lo, the sun doth rise gladly for me
It covers the earth in a thankless job
Warming my face, and shining happily
For its purpose now complete, my heart throbs
Beating in time for the strength of the sun
My anguished cry gone and the suns warmth won

2004-02-06T21:23:00.000-07:00

Its Friday night, do you know where your mind has gone? I do, somehting about Colorado Friday nights makes me want to stay home, or is it that I am just tired of Durango. Hmmm, perhaps it is both, or perhaps I am just a loser, either way I am sitting bored at home, oh well, the bars can wait for my presence to another night. Mayhaps tomorrow. Ugh. Perhaps I am in need of some contrite way of dealing with my boredom like philosophising or poetising (with a word like that I dont believe I am allowed into the litterati) or perhaps I should just begin drawing again, or go to bed, anything to keep my mind creativelly occupied and not mind rotting in front of the television.

2004-02-06T20:45:00.000-07:00

in retrospect, that poem kinda sucks, man im a horrible poet

2004-02-06T20:44:00.000-07:00

The Ache of a Rose
Promises not so easily broken
How is it that I could be so naive?
Blinded to the forays you had with him
My heart feels as though its upon my sleeve
Broken and lost for you, how can I live
My heart pounding 'til bursting, 'twas for you
All that I was I would happily give
So that we had never had been split in two
Sometimes it can hurt so badly, but I...
I wonder is it really all that bad?
To always question myself and ask why
Like the poetic thoughts of an Arab
Dreaming about the way that things have been
Knowing that nothing can beat what I've seen.

2004-01-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

Watching the Av's play the Kings. 0-0 in the first. Been playing alot of Final Fantasy Tactics lately. Good game. Differant. Not much for words now. Short truncated sentances. What news of me? Nothing new. Same boring life. Colorado days stretching out. Its gonna snow soon. Riding should be good. Saw an old friend of mine today, Nick Storm. Another aussie. Funny story with him. I'm sure you'e heard it. Sitting at the bar during the Salt Lake Olympics. Watching the speed skating. USA guy leads. A large pack of skaters close in. The Korean falls. The whole group goes down. The Australian who is so far back that the wreck does not affect him. He skates past. Wins the gold. The American gets up and gets Silver. Nick gloats. Calls it strategy. Rubs it in. A good laugh for us all. Av's Kings now 1-1. Tanguay scores. Good for now. Ciao...

2004-01-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

Some great stuff has happened of late. Not only is my rewrite of hitory going well, I will soon be able to move on in my plans to begin the book that I am doing the backround for. So my post college productivity is still pretty damn high, I wonder how long it can last? With that note I also got two new guitars for a mere 100 dollars. Actually, just one, the other was a gift, but whos keeping score? I am now the proud owner of a Fender Accoustic guitar and Ibanez Bass with amp. My first actual guitars, and the new guitar smell permeates my noistrils as i inhale lovingly the fumes that the new guitars eminate. Sweden man.

With that I feel as tho I need to respond to Alex's blog (of which I still have to link to thank-you very much). www.dakane.blogspot.com if your interested in what this next section pertains to.

Alex, had I known I would have told you. I cant say that I am truly suprised by it, but believe I would hve let you know. Keebler may have spread that, but if he had, he never said peep to me about it. Remember unsubstantiated rumors can cause more damage after the fact, but as you said, not that it matters now. If Ryan said he heard it from me or Greg, I cant doubt that he had to have heard it from Greg.

And on another note, heres a little something for Ryan, dont be so disillusioned about exes and relationships, so what if the faithfulness of others has been brought into question, just remember the best qualities of your time together (not to sound so cliche on that). It sucks but thats life man, and as you say, bring it on. (not that I know anything anyway since none of my relationships have ever lasted more than a month, and I dont care to know how faithful they have been to me or not, i just want to remember what was really important, i.e. the sex, okok, and some of the other things to)

And thats it for preacher Joe, can I have an amen, halelujah, and praise be to me!

2004-01-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

pure genious, thats right, thats me, I dont know what illicits this view of myself, but i feel as though I dont really care, so piss off

2004-01-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

Today my one of my cousins died at Breckenridge. My thoughts go out to his imediate family, my Aunt and her son, who is his father.

2004-01-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

Attempt two, perhaps I fixed the problem...

2004-01-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

Here it is, a new look. It is a work in progress, but at least it is no longer a prefab template...

2004-01-02T23:06:00.000-07:00

Attempt two of this post, yes, thats right, I had done this once already, however, my internet connection is less than reliable. Anyway...

This has been an interesting Winter Break for me, well it can hardly be called a break since I am now graduated from the Fort and I am working at the Purg full time now. But it has been interesting none-the-less. Alex my good friend who lives in Irvine is down for the break, and Keegan and myself have had a great time hanging out with him. From the first instance Alex and myself returned to my apartment and we stampeded Keegans room to the drunken affair in Cortez, now known as the 'Tez. Thank you very much for my insidious slang, which I use much to others chagrine.

Well, the night out in Cortez was interesting, in which Keegans cousin Alexa and Keegans girlfriend Sarah joined us. Our Friend Jody was there too. What a night, the drinking, the overpacked car, what can I say, it was a truly odd night. One I will never forget, but that is a differant story, one that is best saved for old age and bad memories. That was unfortunatly the last night we got to hang with Alex for a bit because he not only had the flu but left prematurely for Boulder later that week. Any way, that Friday(the day after Christmas, Boxing Day!!!!) was quite exciting, and it was a shame Alex could not enjoy it with us, but he had his own adventures in a return home to Boulder, and I will let you read his journal for those details.

So boxing day was quite the party. Keegan's cousins and sister with husband in tow were going to show up. We called Jody and he left on his way as well. In the mean time, Keegan, Sarah and myself went to eat in Durango. All I have to say about that experiance is this, any place that wishes to charge 20 dollars a plate for the crap they served needs to be put out of bussiness forovercharging. But back to the fun. We had planned to go out, but Keegan's sister and husband were underage so we stayed in and drank our cares away with various drinking games. The debauchery that followed is systamatically coming back to me in flashes of memory and scenes that were aparently not as bad as I thought, but then when you cant remember teh night you always assume the worst. Ah, Vodka and OJ, such a wonderful combination, until the next day when your stomach starts doing sommersaults and wont quite.

Well, nothing has really happened since then, but for now thats enough. My new page As the Bullwheel Turns is being put on hold while me and Jody rewrite History (thats right, rewrite, youll see). Alex is back for a couple of days, and we plan on going up to the mountain on Monday for some fresh powder riding since it has alreasy snowed 2 feet in a day. WOOT! The snow is falling and the Texans are leaving, halleluja! Peace....

2003-12-07T23:54:00.000-07:00

Well well well well. here I am sitting in a comfy barber chair, ie my new computer chair, once again wasting time. I near the end of my college career with one week left of classes and a couple of finals. I cant help but feel releaved with the apoaching end. Oh yes, ending, finished, for good, well maybe not, i may yet go to graduate one of these days.

Anyway, Me and Jody have decided to begin planning for a bussiness opportunity. Right now we are planning to open a liquor store somewhere, probably in Denver or Boulder, perhaps Boston, but that is neither here nor there, I think that it is a good idea and look forward to giving it a try, i mean, the worst that can happen is complete failure. But that shouldnt stop anyone, you have to take a risk to make it, if you sit nice and safe at home you will never get ahead of the 9-5 job, and that is NOT what I want, to word in mediocracy for the rest of my life. I have seen many people spend entire carreers working and living humdrum existences as clerks at convineance stores or grocerys. bah, that is just the base of consumerism and i would rather be more exploitative of the population. Lousy capitalist anyway.

On another note I think that my computer is finally updated with new drivers operating system and soon to be installed hard drive.A temporary life extender for my archaic machine. Actually the ordering of the harddrive was a unique experience. Jody, Kelly, and myself sat around a kitchen table talking to Ihud (Ihood? I dont know how to spell his name, and my Aramaich (Hebrew) is rusty) Discussing prices shipping dates and money matters. Thats right (to quote the new movie the Hebrew Hammer) hes the baddest Heb this side of Tel Aviv. All in all a very descent guy who was able to get me a great deal on a new hard drive.

Ah but thats about enough for now, i mean, there is only so much that I can talk about in good old Durango, were the temps are rising making snowboarding hazardous for early season, damn i wish it would snow, anyway, ciao, adieu, anon, and sianora to all who care I will return soon with more exciting details.

2003-11-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

Wasting Time, yup, thats right, I have a large project due and I cant seem to work on it without trying to avoid it for as long as possible. So here I am, updating this when I should have done it ages ago, oh well, at least it motivates me into doing something else.

Ah yes, the effortless ramblings that I can come up with when I am avoiding responsibility, or is it...no, whatever. Anyway, Halloween was cool, I made this great costume, I dressed up in full Samurai armor, from my wooden sandals with their platforms, to the 2 foot tall Kabuto that Jody helped me with. It was great, I had to be at least 8 feet tall with the entire suit.

Hmm, what else, nothing really, been doing some gaming with Jody and some of his friends. Nothing like shooting Nazis until 5 am. Ah yes, the mindless exploits of FPS's. Anyway, since I am trying to avoid what I am doing I guess this will have to do for now, I suppose I will continue my writing. Damn paper, why cant there be a way to write about European History without really writing European History. Hmmmmmm. Interesting thought that, perhaps I can, yes, wait, no no nevermind, dead end. I cant seem to get started though. I have 20 pages to write and no ideas to write with. ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH! Oh well, at least I dont have to wite this in Kanji.

2003-09-29T23:42:00.000-06:00

My my. It seems to me that life is in order for a change. The random flow of life has not thrown a curve at me lately. Alas, but yonder bell tolls for none but me, and I must say that despite its incessant breach of silence a certain melody is contrived. However it may be, I do not believe that time slips wholly for me, but its merest passage is but mine to behold. No one can say what it is to be me, yet they always seem to think they can.

Yet their pettiness is inherent in only themselves, as they would sooner realize if they had not the capacity to deem what is said in jest and what is said in truth, the latter being what everything I say seems to be interpreted as. Is my humor to far above all that they cannot comprehend what I say in jest? Perhaps so, and the fallacy is my fault. I cannot forgive those remarks that I interpret as insults, so perhaps I should not judge others on the mistake they have made if I am not sure that I have made the same mistake. But I shouldn't have to, even as others look to themselves and see only what they like others to see they look at me and see only what they want to.

I should allow this to pass, but I do that to much, in my accommodating way I always seem to end up being the patsy. I do not interpret this to not standing up to myself, but being the better person by allowing others to think they have won. Alas, perhaps I should drop the Confucian ethics and begin a more Taoist approach. Indeed, the flow of nature is cruel and kind in the same breath, and as I passively send barbs out, I can only hope my insults go delivered to the intended targets, and the guilt raised will allow them to view the mistakes that they have made. Ah but now I am being fecicious.

So with that I will bid this post adieu. For not in oneself is the answer to the problems of others, but the problems of self. And in that only one can comprehend what that answer is. For in being there is always a way to solve a problem, but whether that problem is like by one is another problem they have to deal with. Let those reign upon their thrones of self importance, for one day their mirror will shatter, leaving only others to scoff at the dependence they seek from the praise of others. Ciao...JLA.

2003-09-12T00:29:00.000-06:00

Well, in an ode to randomness, the essence of life, and the proper way to live life, I recieved a call from a good friend I hadnt talked to in a long while. The catch being that the call was from Tokyo. Yeah. Yuichiro, a very good friend of mine that I lived with in Durango. I have known him since 1998 and he is one of those influencial people in my life. Anyway, out of the blue he called me from his apartment in Tokyo. I am glad he did, since I hadnt talked to him in over a year, mainly since I didnt have his new email, which i do now, so I can stay in contact with him now. Repetitive, arent I? Anyway true to form, I believe that it is the random and strange events in life that make living worth laughing at, as well as enrich it with flavor. So, please, embrace the randomness and enjoy it to the fullest, because you never know what is going to happen in the next instant. So with that I bid ye all adeu adeu, for the marrow will bring but another wonderous adventure in everyday life, hip hip.

2003-09-09T09:05:00.000-06:00

Well, one week done and im so overdone on classes that it isnt even funny, oh wait, it is, this is what I get for slacking all those years. Damn my procrastinary ways. 19 hours of class. One of those my senior research project, as well as another upper division history class, i suppose i should start going to it, because it probably wouldnt hurt, in fact, it would probably help immensly. Anyway time to get busy more later.

2003-08-26T22:33:00.000-06:00

The pervasive flow of the universe is always around us. Never mind that everything is empty, but our perceptions enable us to sor t out the whole sort of general mish mash that consists of our universe, multiverse, or whatever you view it as. Once again it is its own perception that enables us to view things as we want them to be. Everything that there is to be is simply perception of one synaptic pulse generated in a complex series of electrical pulses interpreted as either pleasueable or painful. My perception of another is simply for myself. They cease to be an for themsleves the instant I look upon them as an oblect. The objectification of life is done every instant we view others, and happens to us everytime we are looked upon. Life is very Sadistic and Masochistic. Well, according to Sartre anyway. But his philosophy is keyed in negetivism. However our life experience ends up it will never end remotely similar to anything that has or will transpire around us.

Life is what we make of it, this collection of electrical pulses we call living has given us consciousness. Awareness of our level of hte universe. Whatever it is we can only hope that the stimulation of nerve endings to send electrical pulses that seem pleasurable to us is what life really is all about. Kinda sad when you think of it. Enough for now, this kind of thought can never lead to any good, perhaps i should dedicate this to the stimulation of certain nerve endings fot the pleasurable feeling? Maybe not. heh. Whatever, its all the same in the end whether it was there or not in the end.

2003-08-17T21:04:00.000-06:00

The depreseing fact of Amirican politics today is that our system of government leans to heavily upon the capital of corporations. Our Republic is based upon the influence of those with the most colateral to aford our representatives. Instead of representing the people that they are elected to speak for, they instead represent those who were able to fund thire campaign the most. The one major flaw of the Republic is this, and I am affraid that has indeed been the way since the constitution was drafted.

The constitution is a flawed document that panders to the rich and powerful. Granted amendments have altered the document to better represent the times. But the fact remains that it suits an entirely different world. We cannot forget that the original draft permited such things as slavery and exclusive rights to vote.

Yet the American Republic, it is a mistake to confuse our government for a democracy, for true democracy is anarchy, is a good system, the problem lies with the economic influences exerted to control us. Most Americans live without want or need, not like much of the world, and indeed it is our own econimic forces that perpetuates the continued hegemony over third world countries. Yet it is not just the third world that is under the grasp of Capitalism, the entire world is the subject of the greed for funds and resources so those of us living in a blooded luxery can scoff at those less fortunate and pander to the newest craze. We are blinded by our own thirst for things, and blinded by the corporate greed. We sustain our system by living it. Like a cyst growing on our face we simply cover it up and pretend it isnt there.

2003-08-12T23:17:00.000-06:00

Some lyrics of a good song Ive been listening to of late, from Shawn Colvin

Trouble
Baby let me set you down
You look so troubled and I think I know
Just when you think you've coem around
there you go

Now I know the bussiness of the heart
And it'll get you anyway it can
You need someone to walk with in teh dark, well
I'm your man

I go to the trouble like a magnet
That's where I'll be
Trouble is just a place to sing
It's what you need

I swear you look like your in jail
and all at once your halfway out of the door
One foot dancing one foot nailed
to the floor

Chasing those circles in the ground
The same old shit is still the same old lie
Just when you think you've got it down
Watch it fly

I go to the trouble like a light
Or like a dare
Trouble is just a friend to me, I know
It'll always be there

It's really hard to make your peace
So give me some credit for the hell I've paid
This world's a blessing and a beast
Every day

So come on baby let me show you how
The less you know the more i comprehend
You don't have to drag me down
I descend

I go to the trouble and I like it
That's were I'll be
Trouble is just like love, if it's half the way
It's all I can see
And it's just what you need

2003-08-10T22:32:00.000-06:00

Ok, adding to my earlier post about my friends I need to add two people.

Yuichiro Nomura-A really cool guy from Japan that I met in college. Always buying us booze and hanging out wiht us. A great guy that was a little crazy but fun to be around, I shall miss him since he has moved back to Fujisani-shi.

Matt Rodgers-This guy is like a brother to me, although i havent known him as long at my other friends, namely Alex and Keegan, he ranks pretty high up there. But he can never be as high on the list as those two. Keebler is his nickname but he hates it so I only use it when I want to get him riled up, and that is most of the time. Very competitive so we are always trying to best one another in something, which always degrades into heated arguments and the abrupt end of teh game.

2003-08-09T03:01:00.000-06:00

Ok, heres the deal, is it ok to meet someone again but you cant remember who they are? Especially when the culprit is a cute girl. Jebus help me I cant remember who she is, but she obviously knew me. I like the fact that she remembers me, but it bugs me to no end that I cant remember who she is! ARGGGGGHHHH! why cant I remember. I know I have been in Durango to long when thi ssort of thing becomes common place. It seems to happen to me at least once a week. The really bad part about tonight is that I thought she was someone else at first, I guess it is a good thing that she didnt hear me call her by a different name. I did get a hug out of the deal, but i am still blank as to who the hell she was. Well, thats about all that really happened, except Ryan getting drunk, but he needed it, and a good time was had by all. oh, and one more thing, there was this girl that works where I do and I know that she wasnt old enough to be in a bar, as a matter of fact, her older sister, who is a sophmore in college isnt old enough to be there, but such is life, and such is my mindless state, and I am tired, and seriously confused, i just cant remember, sigh. Oh well.

2003-08-06T17:06:00.000-06:00

I just thought I would take the time to set up some important people in my life, mainly friends who have been around a long time and have influenced my life in one way or another. So without further ado here they are with all the fanfare they deserve...

Cast of Characters:

Alex-One of the people I consider my best friends, I've known him almost my entire life and I have great respect for him. He's damn smart and has more charisma in his little finger than most do in their whole body, which makes him a little egotistical, but hey, if you had the smarts and the confidence to back it, you would be to. What can I say, he's a great guy and aparently has quite the reputation in Boulder were he went to school for his undergrad, the bloke is just famous up there i suppose.

Keegan-Another guy I have known my whole life, and yet another of my best friends. Thats right, Alex, Keegan, and myself were known by some as the three amigos, were you would find one of us, the others were sure to be there. Keegan is quiet and calm, artistic, and charismatic as well. I can't think of a single person who has ever disliked him. Keegan is likeable and quite determined to whatever he sets his mind to, but he never did quite make it to New York, Hoboken, that just sounds like you Keegen, all the way to jersey and you couldnt cross the river, tsk tsk.

Brant-Yet another quiet guy. Brant was always the outdoorsman. He was also the only person to start college at the same palce as myself, thats right, FLC in Durango CO, although he left to greener pastures, namely Denver and tech schools he has always been a great friend and always has a stroy to tell of his adventures in everyday life.

Ryan-This guy has a heart of Gold, although in high school he was only around one year he continues to be a good friend. Always willing to do something of great importance, like hanging out in miserable Dolores CO, the town we are all from. He is socialable and as Alex puts it, always falling in love with the next beautiful woman he sees (just kidding Ryan, i had to throw that in). A cool cat from the Phillipines and smart as hell, I will never be able to beat him at chess, even if I were to cheat (which I dont).

Jody-A fun loving intelligent guy who has been around forever but I havent begun hanging around with until fairly recently. The jokes start coming and the obscure movie references and such come flowing out when the two of us get together. The bullshit gets thick and there is no helping it, but when it is all said and done your ribs hurt from laughing to much. This guy has a life that could be put into numorous movies and all of them end up hits.

Dave-My oldest friend in Durango, he is also known as the ID. Thats right, ID, and he is very impulsive. A great singer and guitar player he has numerous bands all of which have enormous potential. Some of the weirdest, drunkest, what the hell happened last night parties i have ever been to involved him and his house. A great guy who is very talented I will be able to say I knew Dave back in the day.

Rob-Another old Durango friend, a great skier and wanna be stoner from Texas, Rob has introduced me to some of the best music that has never been heard of from the vast majority of the public. Rob knows of all the great bands that come to town as well as many that dont. Always fun to hang around with and chat about the snow, music, and literature, then try to pick up ski bunnies, almost always ending in failure, especially for him.

Well, thats it for know, if I have forgoten anybody, sorry, you know where to contact me, i will always revise the list, and these fine people are the ones who made the first cut, not to mean that all my other friends out there arent important, on the contrary, there are just to many to put on this, and unless I wanted to write a book, i couldnt possibly fit you all in here. Hope you all enjoyed this, let me know however you think it best to contact me.

2003-08-04T13:18:00.000-06:00

Sartre said that hell is other people, he also said that nausea is a condition of being for others. Even if you dont like Sartre you do have to admit that being for others is a pretty damn hard thing, and sometimes the nausea can just overtake you. And when the nausea comes so do the memories and regrets. All I could think of this morning while my stomach did cartwheels for no aparent reason was Rebecca. Ah yes Rebecca, beautiful, intelligent and three first names. I remember how we used to sit in my apartment after cooking our meal, but we sat on the floor because she thought tables were to pretentious for dining. The wonderful foibles that people develop over time. Truth is to say that as the nausea set in my time with her was clear and evident in my mind. What could I have done differently that didnt drive her away, probably nothing, especially since we remained friends after that, but regrets such as these seem to prove Sartrean existensionalism. Human relationships are all give and take, sadistic and masochistic, being for someone and being for itself. There is no way around it, the eye cannot see itself as the viewer, only the viewed, the hand cannot touch and be touched at the same time, it changes as soon as the thought occurs. The same applies to relationships, either it is for someone else, of for yourself, but never both simultaneously. Of course, absolutes do not have the luxery of sticking around, so I am sure that there is a way around that never. Now that I have begun to write this, my nausea seems to have subsided, so for now this dialogue on self and being is over.

2003-08-03T22:15:00.000-06:00

Ok, here is a blast from the past, i cant remember how long ago I did this, but I feel it is relevent on one level or another, meaning of course that it is a complete waste of your time and mine, but that is entirely the point. Oh, and anyone without a sense of humor is strictly forbiden from reading it even though it has no humourous content. I also feel that it will set the tone for this mindless experiment. And without further ado, some more mindless drivel from a moron:

Isn’t that the case with most if not all forums? I mean, how often is it that we as a society get to ramble on as if we are important, and feel as though we are making a contribution to society? How often is it that we use public access to make a point about things such as making a point that no one will read? What is it that prevents us from having the age-old discussion about what is important in the grand scheme of things? Is it the cosmic flapjacks? Or perhaps the tyrant thunderers that we have all come to know so well? Perhaps the wee knippewill of Tyr-na-og can be used to demonstrate my point. One time there was a small being known as the knippewill that loved to flolop through the lands of Tyr-na-og, any way, the point is we floloped, and as we all know, floloping is something only flolopers do, and since no one can accurately describe what floloping is, no one can understand the point of the story, so as I was saying, he, she, or it, or whatever you want to call it, was floloping, and as it floloped the evil nikinikicatungung came up behind the knippewill and bejanzelled it till it couldn’t flolop no more. Now as this progresses it is important to describe what bejanzelled is, bejanzelled is similar to bedazzle, yet not wholly unlike Jazz music, yet is entirely like neither one but both unsimilar as they are to a peculiar shade of yellowish green combined with the smallest touch of periwinkle blue. Now, the nikinikicatungung is a ferocious beast with the teeth of a trollop and the personal hygiene of your average hippie multiplied by 10. And when a nikinikicatungung bejanzelles you, it is a fright to see, smell, and possibly make you wish you were born deaf blind and dumb. Where was I going with this again? Oh well, I suppose no one read to here anyway and whatever I say will not only consequence the sequence of events but rather bore anyone who has read this far, much like political speeches today this sort of rambles on with no defining moment nor conclusory evidence thus marked upon by the fundamentally incoherent yet terribly unfunny ramblings of Dennis Miller. However, it is not entirely fair to mention Dennis Miller without the nikinikicatungung first bejazzelling him so we no longer have to listen to his Monday night ramblings when we are trying to watch a football game never intending to listen to a sad sad comedian trying to fit in were he is not wanted. On that note, that is my spam for now, I hope that I have done this right, as I am fully confidant I have, seeing as how I just wasted an unquestionable amount of time on ridiculous subject matter in an extremely difficult text and spacing that most will never read and never understand anyhow. To those of you who have taken the time to trifle with my small but memorable spam, I say thank you, because were would you be if you had not endeavored to read this wonderful little rambling of my mind? Probably doing something of some importance. But the as the knippewill says, oh please MR nikinikicatungung, please don’t bejazell me, to which the nikinikicatungung says nothing and bejazzells the knippewill anyhow, I make my discreet exit, and bid you all who have read this, adieu, adieu

2003-08-03T16:54:00.000-06:00

How doth the little Knippewill lament his scornful days
of laughter and joyful ambivilance
But little does it know that lurking behind the austere exterior
lies the dreadful truth of the nikinikikatungung

2003-08-02T22:20:00.000-06:00

What Can I say, I'm just a Fat Bastard

2003-08-02T22:19:00.000-06:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Extreme
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

2003-08-02T22:01:00.000-06:00

Well, here I am, starting something new, who is to say what will be here. Anyhow, just remember, beware the nikinikikatungung and keep the knipewil finds you well.