I've Gone and Done it Again

I have hurt myself with reality once more. These dreams dashed upon the icebergs of the now, notwithstanding my inability to recognize the waters sailed would be dashed upon the weakened hull of my conscience. I knew the route was impossible, but that didn't stop the blind optimism from common sense. I would like to say a lesson learned, but know that I learned nothing. Icy waters of self loathing engulf the once brave spirit enthroned in shimmering ineptitude.

I knew this would happen, but insisted on the outcome anyway. If only my dreams could reconcile reality to formulate an outcome beneficial to my delusions. All this on the ones that got away. I am sure they sailed this way only to find an impassable sea of heartache and doubt, but I could not follow. I just want what it is that everybody else seems to have, knowing my riches I forsake them for the promised glitter of a by gone era, and those mistakes that I committed when I was young and foolish, now that I am older yet even more the fool I can't but help my deluded style and fathomed depth.

So step right up and laugh while I dredge this new mistake into the light for all to see, hurling myself to the masses and ashamed of my silent quandary, bereft of a once again heartache and long live mediocrity, I am resigning myself once more to a chosen misunderstanding. Melancholy memories of a beautiful person who I couldn't quite speak up until it was too late, I've lived with this heart on my sleeve to damned long and wish for it to reside comfortably where it needs to be. All the mistakes I've made seem to pile up on me when I least expect but blindly knew to be coming.