Burden of the Mind

It is a sad truth that sets me here today. I am unable to recognize the intents of others and bring myself to the reasoning that I am what I thing I am. I seek what anyone seeks, I want what anyone wants, but it seems that I am unable to accomplish these ends because of my lack of ability.
What brought me here today? Of this I am unsure, however, I do know that my being here has altered least not my perception of not only myself, but others that I could care less about, as well as those that I care most for. Drinking in these thoughts I realize that I am lost confused and most assuredly alone. Can anyone else understand my concerns, my doubts? I speak so surely of myself around others, but my thoughts betray me, if only to myself, then that is enough.
I can only hope that I endure the fate that I have laid for myself. The weight of my mind is to great to comprehend, yet it is that very weight in which I wish to increase, while that of my location wishes to decrease. Understandably I haven't given myself the opportunities to release that which lies dormant within, that is a shell that is to hard to break. Twenty eight years of solid defense from others has successfully isolated myself from everyone else, but it has had the unfortunate consequence of trapping me inside. So much so that I am unsure of what I truly am. This frightens me to no end.
Can I say that I truly regret my decisions however? I think that perhaps I cannot, for me to be any other way is simply to not be me, and that is the basic foundation that I have. But even if I have no regrets as to my decisions, that does not mean that I am happy with them. It is the unfortunate reality that most of us live with a deep and foreboding hatred of ourselves and everything that we are. We are unhappy. This is the destiny we have burdened ourselves with simply because we think to a degree that dissatisfies us.
Our humble upbringing has us questioning everything that we do. What is this? Why does this do that? Etc. ad infinitum. Were we that of other creatures that think less about everything and think only of living. Oh the life we could live of a simple beast. Is this still possible if we had no language. Could a child raised by wolves be happy? With no greater understanding that what the next meal involves. The burden of the mind is the fate of mankind, and we cannot avoid the responsibility of it's use in a manner that makes us more that our sum parts. Creatures of this world we may be with our bodies, but beings of infinite power we could be with our minds.