Sartre said that hell is other people, he also said that nausea is a condition of being for others. Even if you dont like Sartre you do have to admit that being for others is a pretty damn hard thing, and sometimes the nausea can just overtake you. And when the nausea comes so do the memories and regrets. All I could think of this morning while my stomach did cartwheels for no aparent reason was Rebecca. Ah yes Rebecca, beautiful, intelligent and three first names. I remember how we used to sit in my apartment after cooking our meal, but we sat on the floor because she thought tables were to pretentious for dining. The wonderful foibles that people develop over time. Truth is to say that as the nausea set in my time with her was clear and evident in my mind. What could I have done differently that didnt drive her away, probably nothing, especially since we remained friends after that, but regrets such as these seem to prove Sartrean existensionalism. Human relationships are all give and take, sadistic and masochistic, being for someone and being for itself. There is no way around it, the eye cannot see itself as the viewer, only the viewed, the hand cannot touch and be touched at the same time, it changes as soon as the thought occurs. The same applies to relationships, either it is for someone else, of for yourself, but never both simultaneously. Of course, absolutes do not have the luxery of sticking around, so I am sure that there is a way around that never. Now that I have begun to write this, my nausea seems to have subsided, so for now this dialogue on self and being is over.